I know I should be sleeping right now but here I am blogging about this fucked up feelings again. macam bodoh per aku. -.- again, i ended up here. Never learnt my lesson right Ain? well, here it goes.I was home alone, all alone from 7-11.30pm. YES. ALONE. -.- and I waited for him to text/call till I accidentally fall asleep on my sofa. I don't wanna call/text since I am afraid he is busy. BUT, after I received his text message, my heart sank. LIKE HELL. I thought I could share my day before I go to sleep but oh well, he went to watch movie. I am like an idiot at home throughout the night. Seriously, I thought I would be able to tell him what happened earlier. But he will be the last one to know what happened today I guess. I am as pathetic as fuck. -.- I don't wanna live on this planet anymore la sia. All the people here are fucking mean. What the fuck did I do to deserve this. sad story for me uh, yeah because y'all never feel what I felt.So, no matter how I describe my feelings, y'all will never understand unless you all are me. I am sad enough now. Not gonna show it. I can't scold either. Fuck this planet. Fuck every one. Anyway, I still love you. Just like how I did last two years of August period. Mother of God. yes, i just said that. Fuck it, it can't fade even what had happened last year oct-nov. Yes, the state is still the same. I just wish that my wish comes true and that is why I keep praying every single night. I hope one day you get the message that I have been praying before I go to sleep. don't blame me. the love just bloom by itself. I can't help it either. If you were to say I were to let you go if I love you, that is not my wish and I don't wish it would happen also. Open up your heart. Maybe God gave me this challenge to see how I handle it. Insyallah, I can pass this challenge like how I wish it would be. After all, I am still grateful that you informed me. Still, better than nothing. that is it. I am going to sleep now as I promise.Gonna force myself to sleep and have fun watching the movie. :) bye. take care.

Just feel like posting. :) Rewind to the night when we were at Kovan and Pasir Ris park. ;) well, we have not met for 3 weeks. so yeah, you are busy and I am busy. we are busy but I always try to make time for you. hmm...sometimes I felt insecure when we never talk for a day or so. Like as if you have forgotten me and I have forgotten you. hahahaha! okay, that's just ridiculous but yeah, some things you do drives me to the negative thoughts and yeah, that's how I ended up thinking negatively. We haven't had a proper conversation. And if we are going to meet, it is going to be awhile I guess? 3 weeks = few hours? hmm.... I don't know. its just so short. Not asking to spend the time forever but at least, make some time for us. Yeah, there is time for everything but divide it evenly. After all, just make me feel secure. Well, sometimes when I get annoyed with you,I just can never have the heart to scold or shout at you. I just can never do that. hahahaah! Because I just can't. :) no,seriously I can't. We are meeting this Friday and I just want to smile when the minute I see you till I left. You have no idea how happy am I whenever I see your presence. Its like an angel that I yearn for has come right in front of me. hmmm.. what am I to you then? heheheheh! the heck, its so hard to say all this but its so easy to type it out. Because, I just can't do it. ahahahah! okay la, I am done. bye! i gotta sleep soon! I think too much till i fall sick and lost my memory. that is how bad my condition right now. No kidding. :/ okay, Good night. And I love you so much. Random photo. hehehe!


Anna Sherylina. :)